D: I hate waking up from nightmares.

It's been a while since I've had a really bad one--the kind where I wake up and I'm lying there in the dark, and I feel this.. malice filling up my room. I thought maybe if I prayed the suffocating feeling would lessen and my heart would stop pounding in my ears -- because let's face it, no matter how much I knock religion, that's how I was raised, and it's part of me, and whether I'm part of the Church or not I believe.

I almost thought things had calmed down, too, until my skin started crawling again and the panic welled up tenfold. I very calmly sat up and moved to the edge of the bed and flicked the light on, and when even that didn't help -- it doesn't help with the really bad ones -- I put on my robe and left the room entirely.

I've only had this happen once before -- that nightmare I will never forget -- but thankfully the fear that was soaking my skin tonight wasn't as bad as that time. That time, I couldn't even walk back into my room -- even with the light on -- until the sun rose (and even a while after) without getting immediately very high-strung and skittish, because it felt like.. evil was sucking at my skin. That's really the only way I can describe the aura that filled my room. Evil.

Even sitting here in the computer room (I feel strangely at home here) for hours, I still hadn't calmed down after that one nightmare. I almost felt like I was going to fly apart at the seams any minute, that time.

Thankfully, this time I calmed down immensely as soon as I left my room. .. I'm still nervous about going back in there to sleep, though, so I'll probably stay up for a while longer. At least I finally got off my ass and fix my friends' page. God, I'm a bum when it comes to layouts.


.. I'm almost beginning to wonder, though.. what, exactly, has invited itself into my room.