"You are very boring," said the frog.

Kira looked to the side where a small green frog sat demurely on the small stone wall lining this side of the cafe's outdoor patio deck, a small but very tasteful garden growing below on the other side of the wall. There was even a small koi pond. He was reading through several stapled leaflets, and presently looked back to them, resuming his work. "Surely you're not very much more entertaining, being a frog."

"That's very insulting, and how would you know, anyway? I could be quite the party frog. I could be in my college years spending every night getting drunk at frat parties before one morning I wake up in bed next to another frog and next thing you know there's thousands of babies spawning everywhere."

"Then why are you sitting here, talking to me?" Kira asked, lifting his coffee cup and sipping it while he continued to read.

"... because I'm bored," the frog admitted guiltily after a minute, with a very big sigh for such a small frog.

"Ah," said Kira. "That's unfortunate."

"... pleeeeease? You could go swimming with me, we could have lots of fun. The lilypads are quite nice this time of year."

"No thank you, but I do appreciate the offer."

"Do you know the average life expectancy of a frog? ... well, I don't either, but I imagine it's very short, and you know, that's not a bad thing," said the frog, punctuating this statement with a 'ribbit'. "Teaches you to appreciate things more, live in the moment, that sort of thing."

"That's a big philosophy for such a small frog," Kira replied. "And for that matter, Matsumoto," he continued without looking up, flipping over a sheet of paper so he could read the next, "why are you hiding in the garden like that and pretending you're a frog?"

"Well, for starters," the frog replied happily, "my Captain happens to be sitting over there with Hinamori and I'm supposed to be under house arrest until I get my work done. Among other things. I forget."

"You're not a very convincing frog," he observed.

Rangiku's head popped up over the small stone wall right next to the frog. The frog, giving her a very unenthused look, turned very slowly, laboriously around before hopping away. She watched it before looking back up to Kira cheerfully. "That's because frogs don't have boobs."

"... of course. That would be the reason." Kira, despite himself, chuckled into his coffee.